Though he has admitted and even sometimes often acted jealous (mostly when he couldn't get his way or have something he wanted), what he talks to me about most often is his excitement and fears about the kind of big brother he wants so badly to be.
Just yesterday, while we were folding laundry together he brought up (again) how he wishes we could just get on a plane NOW and go get Faith.
- He says he wants to be the kind of big brother that will teach and protect Faith.
- He says when he has money from chores or later on from a job, he wants to treat Faith to the movies or a special toy that we won't buy for her.
- He says he wants to teach her how to make a snow fort, shovel snow, make a snowman.
- He says he wants to read her bed time stories and be there for her if she is scared from a dream.
When he has shown me a side of jealously, I just let him feel what he is feeling. I let him talk it out and I listen. I tell him that it's completely normal to feel this way, and it's okay to feel this but it's all in HOW you deal with these feelings that is the most important. I am always available for him to talk to when he feels like this with NO judgement. One other thing we are doing, is allowing him to be a part of the planning (example: when in China, we are going to buy several little gifts from China to give her yearly on her birthday, gotcha day or Chinese New Year, to celebrate her joining our family - we let him be a part of the decision as to what DAY we would celebrate this). We also talk about situations that we predict could be hard for him, giving him a chance to think about how he would react and how to respond in the best way possible.
I don't know if all of this will come crashing down when we bring her home and she is an immediate threat to his undivided attention with Mom & Dad, but for now I am dreaming that maybe, just maybe he will surprise us at what we thought would have been a terribly hard transition for him.
Any of you have older children in the home when you brought your little ones home from China? Any suggestions??
All I know is that he is JUST as excited as Jacques and I to bring our little peanut home!
ONE MONTH TODAY...but who's counting!!!
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