The Black Hole...

of waiting for 'something' is driving me crazy.

Listen, I know we are not travelling until November and I'm so okay with this.

But.... (and there always is)

...we seem to be waiting and waiting for some news, paperwork, an update that is just not happening.


MAN....

...I wish I had some patience through out this.

SOMETHING....

ANYTHING....

....would suffice in the black hole of waiting.

The days of wondering aimlessly in Faith's room, folding and reorganizing her clothes, arranging and rearranging her toys, bedroom furniture, reading China travel blogs over and over, watching too many YouTube 'Gotcha Day' videos....have all passed.

NOW....
I search the internet frantically looking for something, but don't really know what.
I prepare and plan, but most days nothing really gets done. 
I meal plan, prepare and plan for her arrival, as though we will be feeding a family of 10, but we are only a family of 3 going on 4.
I want to purge and organize every closet in the house, but don't 'feel' like it.

What is happening to me?

I am generally in a happy mood, but admitting I WANT my girl.

So many (out of the kindness of their hearts) talk to me about patience, or lovingly tell me things like 'OH, you'll have her home for Christmas', or whatever they think will make me feel better (and don't get me wrong - I KNOW all these things and know they say it with ALL the love in the world....BUT, it's just downright HARD and STINKY and SUCKY.

OUR daughter is ALONE right now and my 'mommy heart' wants her HOME.

I love reading a great online/adoption friend's journey because I really respect and look up to her.  While feeling like this, I was stalking her blog about her China adoption process and stumbled across these posts.  Even though it doesn't take away this feeling, it DID make me feel somewhat normal in this process.

Read for yourself...maybe then you'll understand that I'm not the only CRAZY one in this adoption process (sorry Angel, I do mean 'CRAZY' with the utmost respect and love!!!)

Angels Posts that made me feel that I CAN do this without being institutionalized!!!
LOA Waiting
Help, I'm useless