Thoughts on Faith

So many little details I wish to remember about Faith in her young, vulnerable age of 35 months when we had our GOTCHA DAY!

the first night she was sleeping with us, she would hold her hand up to me. Once I would rub her hand, she would immediately calm right down (in her sleepy stupor). Now this has become her holding her whole arm out for me to rub her whole arm at a time. When she is done, she pushes my hand away. But when she wants more, she pulls her sleeve up as high as it will go for me to rub higher.

Chicken Pox...the first time I stripped her down to see ever square inch of her body I noticed she had several little marks on her little body. Several of them looked like the remnants of the chicken pox and one specifically looks like a bruise on her right hip (where her leg meets her abdomen). We will never know, but it breaks my heart to think that someone could have hurt her :( Probably not, it's probably just a little birth mark, or mark from her diaper. She has several other marks, but they could just be what they call the Mongolian marks that many Asian children have. SO...when we visited the orphanage, her nanny told us that she had the chicken pox but couldn't remember when, maybe February or March. My guess is sooner than that because some of the marks are not 100% completely healed (not that they are oozing or still crusted) but they aren't at the 'scar' stage yet either.

So her first drive to the airport was VERY interesting. She was VERY resistant, didn't want up, didn't want down, was very defiant and was a squigly little worm in my arms. I assumed that she felt something different was 'up' considering we had packed all of our bags, emptied the hotel room (the only room she ever 'knew' as home with her new family) and were in a different car, other than Michael's. Her Chinese Passport was delayed, so Michael, our guide, sent another driver to pick us up and bring us to him (at the Police Station). Well, it ended up NOT being the station but rather the side of the street where he got in the car with us to take us to the airport. When he got in the car, I told him of her behaviour and he spoke to her in Chinese to explain to her what was happening and that Ma Ma, Ba Ba and Ge Ge were not going to leave her and that we were all going to Beijing and another hotel before we went to our HOME in Canada. As he spoke, her eyes were big, big, big staring at him and listening to every word he was saying. A few minutes later, she started to act out again. Crying and fussing, not wanting up, down, held or not held. It broke my heart.

I reminded him that they had told us that when a plane would drive over the orphanage, how she would point up at it and say 'Ma Ma, Ba Ba, Ge Ge - airplane' - meaning we were coming to get her on an airplane. I showed him how we had taught her to do the airplane in sign language. So he once again explained to her how we were going on this big airplane and we would never leave her. Again, her eyes all watery just staring at him contently speaking to her in a language she understood. All the while her Ma Ma was a crying mess!!!

Once we got to the airport, she was in her stroller being pushed by Noah so my kids were both happy once again!!! UNTIL.....we got through security. We put our bags through the xray machine, I fold the stroller up with Faith in my arms and walk through the scanner. We beeped and the security guard started PATTING DOWN Faith (not me, but poor little Faith). She looked MORTIFIED, and I probably looked PISSED! As they were patting her down (I was holding her the whole time), she was facing away from me...she kept crying 'MA MA, MA MA'....tore my heart in a million pieces.

Funny enough though, as SOON as we got through the security check she became her regular self again....giggly & happy to get her shoes on and hit the floor running!!! FEWWWUUUU....am I EVER glad we made it through that.

The hour plus wait was horrible....here are the 3 of us sitting in the airport with stare after stare after stare from the locals. Jacques got very annoyed. Well, possibly annoyed was a bit too strong but it was very uncomfortable. Faith was a squirmy monkey most of the time we were there...which is completely normal (right?) for a 3 year old with SO much going on in their little minds....but something we haven't been used to, are completely UP for but was VERY tiring and annoying. Mostly the looks we were getting from people....Jacques thought they were 'dirty' looks....I thought maybe they were more curiosity. The whole time this was going on, our little TROOPER Noah sat listening to his ipod, oblivious to most of what was going on. Bless his soul!!! Either way, we were all VERY happy to get on the plane and get the show on the road.

Strapping Faith in, the take off and most of the flight was perfect for her. She ate alot, ate a good supper of rice and drank. Within the last 30 minutes, she FOUGHT her sleepy eyes hard with the water bottle (I think I took some video) by rubbing the empty water bottle to keep herself awake, but her eyelids won and the bottle lost!!! Poor peanut was SO tired!

As we were descending (and she was sleeping), you could tell it was bothering her little ears. She would squirm in her sleep, rub her ears and move her legs. She partially woke up, looked at me with big tears in her eyes, slowly dripping out and down her cheeks while rubbing her eyes. My heart broke, I wanted to pick her up and cuddle her but couldn't because she had to stay strapped in. She let out a few little cries, but as long as I continued to rub her arm - ALL THE WAY UP TO HER ARMPIT - she was all good!!! Sweet girl and so simple. Ma Ma's arm fell asleep doing it, but that's okay.

We landed and all was good. She slept on me for most of the drive back to the hotel, woke up a bit as we got in with BIG sleepy eyes. We got into our room - WHICH IS HUUUUUUGGGGGEEEE and beautiful (compared to our last one in Beijing) - Daddy changed her clothes, she went pee on the toilet, we layed her in her crib (which is SO much nicer than the other hotel) and off she fell asleep.

It was Mommy's night to wake up with her, and of course she woke up - but only once crying. I picked her up and brought her to bed with Jacques and I for about 20 minutes. Poor girl was sucking her thumb and doing the little sound (you know when you cry hard and lose your breath)...well, she continued to do this for a good 15 minutes. i wouldn't put her back to bed until she was breathing normally and not one eeny weeny bit upset anymore! Now Mommy's up for the day while everyone else is sleeping!

One thing we noticed is that she has a VERY high pain threshold. I wonder if that's normal. Twice she's bumped her head (once falling off the bed and the other at the airport)...and has said nothing, other than a little imitating 'hand to the head' bump and an 'uh-oh' or something to that affect. Must remember to ask other adoption friends about their kids. I mean, the fall at the airport was NOT a light bump on the back of the head either....it was a pretty good 'koink'. We immediately soothed her, but no tears, no screams...just her 'hand to the head, uh-oh' and off she went.

FOOD....she seems to be having food issues with hoarding food in her mouth. I had never seen this before, but seems to be common with many children adopted from orphanages (makes sense, I guess). She can chew food, but will not swallow it. She keeps it tucked in her cheeks or on the roof of her mouth - and I mean, literally for hours. When we feed her anything that is 'not' intended for toddlers or babies, we have to remind her to 'chew, chew, chew' while showing her the motions to chew and swallow. We have tried some baby jar food, but it's so different here (and gross)!!! she doesn't like it. She's been living off of yogurt, Baby Mum-Mum's, puffs, Cheerios, some rice and noodles and banana (she LOVES bananas). She doesn't seem to like any type of milk we give her, whether it's formula from China, powdered milk, purchased milk or formula we brought from home. Her nanny had told us that she was still on the bottle at night and morning for her milk...who knows what kind that is. She seems to be doing fine without it so I'm happy with that (other than bottle time would have been so cuddly and fun on that new rocking chair at home - even if it only lasted a few weeks!!! - selfish, I know!). So when we get home, I am going to make her try new foods but i will puree them. I will also buy some of the toddler type foods that are 'chunky' and will dissolve in her mouth more quickly than regular foods.

So much I want to remember about this trip....about all Faith's little parts that make up her personality that I want to document so as she grows and changes in personality and comfort with us, we can look back and see the progress.