OH the possibilities

OK...let's face it, committing to losing ALL this weight is quite the undertaking.

So far for ME my progress has been great and continues to go great.  But for Jacques, it's not going so great.

I can't seem to get him to get motivated to do the same.  I KNOW, I can't force him to do anything so I think I know what I have to do.  I think we need to have a back up plan, a second option for a country so when it's time to commit we have all the facts we need (luckily this is not until February, so we have a bit of time yet for our final commitment on our country).  That said, we are getting ready to make our next BIG financial commitment (and the biggest one so far) and I'm a little worried about what may happen IF Jacques can not lose the weight he needs to lose for us to adopt from Russia. 

So the balls are rolling, thinking and researching WHERE an alternative country may be.

It's scary....

I mean, I wish our process could have just been plain ole' BLACK & WHITE - where we PICK a COUNTRY, do our paperwork, travel and have our child.  Unfortunately, it has been ANYTHING but THAT :(  We had a move to a different part of our province, then a pending move to a different province, that didn't happen and with that, we had to switch our country (from Vietnam) because living IN New Brunswick, you can NOT adopt from Vietnam.  SO - our journey has been all over the place and frankly, I'm tired.  In the end, we just want a BABY and to grow our family, that's all.

We WILL get there and we WILL welcome a child home one day (hopefully sooner than later).  I feel like 'The Little Engine' - you know, the one that kept saying 'I think I can, I think I can, I think I can'.  Many times through this journey, I just want to GIVE UP and say 'we are fortunate for A child' let's just be happy with that.  BUT then my heart and arms ache for another child and we keep going.

As I spent a VERY late night browsing on Pinterest, I found an amazing saying that pretty much sums up how I am feeling today:

It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want. ~ Author Unknown

So tomorrow morning when I wake up - I am going to continue this process one step at a time (oh and maybe listen to some Christmas tunes) and sooner than later, we WILL have the country officially chosen and we will be on our way FINALLY on an official waiting list!!!

Much love to you all,
Tara